Monday, 17 December 2012

Pervert's Playground Party

I took my time. First of all I undressed and used my rose-scented, glittery body powder all over. Then I put on my black suspenders and stockings. I didn't expect to see any of the sparkles of the powder through my stockings, but I did, and it looked very nice.
Since it was cold out, I put on my sweater and jeans again, together with my ankle boots, got my bag and headed out.
I was 20 minutes early, and the venue, a bar, was closed. There were a couple of people outside, who'd been asked to leave the bar, because there was to be a private party for the rest of the night. Well, I knew that: it was why I was there. More and more people arrived, most in street wear, but some already in party dress.
So I stood there, waiting and talking, when a friend approached me. This is the gentleman I spoke about in other blogs. Time to give him a name: let's call him John.
Finally, finally, it was 10 o'clock and the doors opened. I had my ticket ready and was the first one in. There was a changing area, more or less separated from the rest of the room. I got in there and started to change, but it wasn't easy. My tulle and PVC mini skirt, which I hadn't really worn before, wouldn't zip up, so I needed a bit of help with that. Then it was time to take off my jeans and bra, and put on my corset. Now, I've been wearing this corset at home, making sure I can put it on all by myself, but I couldn't manage it now. It took me at least a dozen tries, before I was able to hook it up at the front. I started to lace it up at the back, getting it as tight as I could, and failed! Frustrations galore. Fortunately there was a very nice lady who was willing and able to do it for me. And she did a good job, I was laced up nice and tight, very tight. I was almost shocked at the end, when she put her hands inside my cups to arrange my breasts. I could see she was only doing it because she wanted it to look good, but is sure wasn't what I expected her to do.
Silly me had put my bags on the floor before getting changed, so I now had to pick them up while unable to bend, because of my corset. I managed it, but not easily.
I checked my bag and coat, but they didn't want to take my hat: the cloak room area was not equipped for that, so I put it on my head instead.
While I was walking around, I thought of Lillie and of Ian's thoughts if she walked around at a party dressed like me that night. Not that he'd ever allow something like that to happen, but I liked speculating about what he'd have to say about it.
When John saw me, I twirled for him, he liked my outfit very much.
The lower floor was a lounge area, with a bar in the front and way at the back, some tables and chairs, a dance floor and a podium. Then there were stairs going up, to the play are, called Speelbar, with plenty of speelbar monitors watching and where the safeword for the evening was "Safeword". Play to be confined to the play area, no wax or fire, no penetration or other sex, no blood, and of course: all play to be Safe, Sane and Consensual.
I was up there while there was a show on the podium. By bending over the railing, and ducking under the curtain hanging there, I had a good look at what was going on. While I was singing along with "Fever, when he kisses, Fever, when he holds me tight", I suddenly felt a pair of hands on my back, adjusting my corset. Since one of the rules of the night also was: no touching without permission, I wasn't surprised to see the hands belonged to John, about the only person there who is allowed to touch me without asking.
I mingled, chatted, looked at the show, had a couple of drinks, and started to feel my feet. Even though my boots were comfortable and not too high, they were still new, and with all the walking and standing I could really feel it. And because I was wearing my corset, making bending impossible, I could not sit down on an ordinary chair and still be able to breath. The only place I could sit was on a bar stool.
Smoking was another kind of fun: we had to go outside for that, where people were passing, so we had to confirm to the vanilla-friendly rule: not too much nudity or the like. Luckily my clothing wasn't considered extreme, so I didn't have to cover up before going outside. Well, most of me was covered, with my corset and stockings, even though my skirt had trouble covering my bum.
I never got to play, because when it got to be 1 am I was too tired, and my feet were too sore, to go on. My corset was pinching me, and the Saturday would be a long day with an early start, so I decided to go home.
Getting my things from the cloak room took some time, since they had trouble finding my bag. And I needed that bag, because my jeans were in there. By the time I could it, I just wanted to take off my corset and find my bed.
Loosening the strings felt so good, so wonderful, it was, as another lady told me, a bodygasm. I got changed and went home, walking all the way. It was about half an hour, their were no more busses, I knew the way and it had stopped raining, so it was fine, apart from the swearing from my feet: they were threatening to run away, without me.
By the time I got home it was after 2, I took off my boots real quick, cleaned my face and went to sleep.
Yes, it would have been fun to stay a bit longer, and it would have been even more fun to play, but I did have a great night.
Next morning I was up at 9, needing to leave home just after 10, for indeed a long day. My feet were still cursing me, but they've stopped now.

Friday, 14 December 2012

Getting ready for the party

Yes, tonight's the night: my first ever pervert party.

I'm not going to change before I get there: it's cold out (we already had snow last week), and I want to be warm as I roam the streets. No, at the moment I'm wearing jeans and a sweater, but with sexy black underwear underneath. Nothing like black lingerie to make a girl feel sexy.

But before I leave, I'll put on my suspenders and stockings, under my socks and jeans. And I have cute, new, low black boots, that look great under jeans, but also with the party outfit.

My bag is all packed, so when I arrive there I'll retire to the changing room. There I will put on my red and black corset, and my black mini skirt which is in tule and pvc. So it stands out wide, and is shiny. It doesn't really cover my booty, well it does as long as I remain standing and don't even try to walk. I'll need to take my bra off, because that doesn't work with the corset, but I'll keep my black string on.

Just in case it's hot in there, I'm also bringing my black fan.
I'm still debating whether or not I want to buy and wear some kind of mask. Hm, decisions, decisions.

Hopefully I'll have time this weekend to tell you all about the party.

Saturday, 8 December 2012

The Vengeance of Mrs. Claus

You can find this book at Blushing Books: The Vengeance of Mrs. Claus, and it's written by our own Ana.

In some countries, turning 21 means gaining the right to vote and drink alcoholic beverages. For Claire Labraun, the Christmas after her 21st birthday would be beyond her wildest imagination.
Minelle and Matthew Labraun believed in a traditional marriage. Matthew was head of their household, and Minelle was his helpmeet.
When it came to raising their headstrong 21-year-old daughter, however, they found themselves at a loss.
Minelle had always taught Claire to do the right thing for right's sake. Claire, however, had different ideas. 
She rebelled against their rules, flaunted authority, and connived to get things she wanted.
She had never been spanked in her life; Matthew and Minelle kept that adult privilege strictly between themselves. But this year, a visit from Santa plus Claire's newly adult status would change her idea of Christmas forever.

Have you read it yet? Do you love it? Don't forget to put your review on-line, as I have done. It'll only take a minute.

And for those who haven't read it yet: buy it now, read it, enjoy it, and then review it.

So: what did I think of it?

I couldn't wait for it, so I downloaded it as soon as I saw it was available. I should have been in bed already, but I needed to read it straight away.
Of course I've already been reading Ana's stories, so I was expecting much, and I wasn't disappointed. Apart from the sheer pleasure of finding so many familiar names in this book, it's just so, so funny! I laughed out loud at parts.
Beware of Mrs. Claus, everyone, she's an awesome woman and she'll spank the right kind of Christmas cheer in you, if you let her (and even if you won't).
Ana, thank you for this, I love, love, love it.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

The Third Annual Great Online Cookie Exchange Extravaganza

Cinnamon rolls

Edited for my American friends: ounces, cups and inches added.

You need:
800g (28 oz) flour
40g (1.5 oz) fresh yeast (one package) or 7g (.25 oz) dried yeast
0.4 l (1.75 cup) lukewarm milk
80g (3 oz) sugar
140g (5 oz) softened butter
2 tsp cinnamon
For the filling:
200g (7 oz) softened butter
140g (5 oz) sugar
1 tblsp cinnamon
Egg wash:
1 egg, slightly beaten

Preheat the oven to 225 degrees Celsius (425 degrees Fahrenheit).
Pour the flour into a mixing bowl, make a hollow in the centre, break up the yeast (when using fresh)and add the yeast to the hollow. Add the milk to the yeast, do not mix with the flour, and leave to stand for 10 minutes. Add the other ingredients, knead well and leave it to rise for 20 minutes.

In the mean time, mix the ingredients for the filling into a paste.
Divide the dough into two equal parts, knead quickly, sprinkle flour onto your work area and roll out one portion of the dough into a rectangle of 30 by 70 cm (12 by 28 inch). Using half of the filling, spread it out over the rectangle, roll the dough up from the long side until you've got a roll of 70 cm (28 inches) long. Using a sharp knife, cut into 5 cm (2 inch) pieces, put those on a cookie sheet and press the centres with the handle of a knife (see pictures). Leave to rise for another 10 minutes, while preparing the other roll in the same fashion.
Brush beaten egg over the first portion of rolls and bake in the preheated oven for 15-20 minutes, until golden brown. Repeat for the second portion.

These rolls freeze well: just put them in freezer bags or boxes and pop them into the freezer. They taste best when (slightly) warm, the microwave is your friend.

More information on: Cookie Calling Time

For the other recipes see:

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

The Sweet get Sweets, the Bad get the Rod (Wie Zoet is krijgt Lekkers, Wie Stout is de Roe)

This is more rigid
than it looks
and it really hurts

The title of this entry is from a Sinterklaas song, since it's almost 5 December again and since it fits for another reason as well, as you can find out by reading on.

I'm feeling a bit sore and I have some bruising, all reminders of a nice evening.

Another Friday night, but no demonstration this time, just a regular meeting at an unusual day and time.

Was I early again? What do you think? At least this time I didn't have to wait for more than 10-15 minutes.

Quite a lot of the faces this night were people I'd seen before, which made me feel right at home. The people I didn't know yet, introduced themselves while we were having our first drink at the bar. I'm very happy they took the initiative, since I'm an introvert and have difficulties mingling. I try, but it doesn't come easily to me.

I went to the changing room, took off my long sleeved, demure blouse and put on a little black lacy see through one over my black bra, along with some high heeled shoes, before unbuttoning my long skirt until the knee, thereby setting off my legs and stockings while I sat on a barstool, with my legs crossed. It surprises me that I'm comfortable doing that, even though I normally don't dress explicitly sexy.

It was very nice to see the gentleman I'd played with before, see My First Munch, and yes, we ended up playing again.

He started with cuffing my wrists and ankles and we went to the play area before I undressed to my underwear, taking off my bra as well. He took out a rope and engaged in (Japanese) bondage. As I stood there, hands on my head, I could feel the rope sliding over my body, which felt very sensual. My partner made sure my breasts really stood out, and my nipples signalled how much I enjoyed this, as did my crotch: yes, I was more than a little horny. And being taken to a mirror to look at myself, only made it worse (or even better, according to your own opinion).

What was hard for me was seeing myself as he saw me: as beautiful. I know I'm good looking, attractive, but I also realise only too well that I'm middle aged and over weight. I guess it's easier for me to see myself as beautiful if I have a real life partner who does that as well, something I've missed for too long. *shrug*

The cross was occupied, so we went to the massage table. Since my hands were now cuffed behind my back, I had to be helped on there. So there I was, hands behind my back, just in underwear, shoes and rope, lying on my belly, getting flogged, spanked and caressed. Hmm: how can hands that soft spank so hard?

Then I was turned over and my front got a lot of attention and pain, with amongst other things a bundle of rods (see picture) and a riding crop. I really got close to my boundaries, luckily my playmate watched my reactions closely and made sure he didn't go too far.

When we stopped I was shaking from cold, not because of the temperature, but as a reaction to our play, so I was happy to wear his jacket, over his rope artwork. After a drink and a smoke, we sat down to watch other players, him on the couch, me kneeling at his feet. I didn't mind that, well, not until it became uncomfortable, but it didn't do anything for me either. He kept teasing me, checking between my legs to find out how excited I was, stroking my breasts and pinching my nipples.

So it seems that I'm more a masochist than a submissive. It's something I've been thinking about, asking myself questions like: Is it normal? Hah, what's normal about BDSM anyway. Will it change? Perhaps, just wait and see. Will I feel differently when I meet "the right man"? No idea, let's find him first. How will I feel in 5 years time? I don't know (yet).

I made sure I was untied and dressed with plenty of time to catch my bus back and arrived home a very satisfied woman.

Sunday, 25 November 2012

BDSM for Beginners

Public Service Announcement
Remember folks: before you enter into any kind of play described below, you should get informed. Make sure you know what you're doing, surf the web for information, and even get somebody to teach you, if and when possible. Not to frighten anybody off, but things can get hairy, so be safe. Always think of the three important words: Safe, Sane, Consensual. And have fun!

After my first munch, I knew that I really like the VSSM and I also realised that I'm still a newbie as far as BDSM is concerned. So when the VSSM organised an information evening I decided to attend.

The location was the same as for the munch, but instead of a Sunday afternoon, this was on a Friday evening.

Once again I was early, though not as early as last time, which gave me time to grab a hamburger before jumping on the bus, but I still was the first one there, apart from the people who were busy setting things up for the evening. But it didn't take long before a car arrived, so I didn't have to wait alone until the door opened.

The new arrival was a going to demonstrate that evening, and we had a nice chat together until it was time to get the show on the road.

There were quite a lot of first-time visitors that night, who needed some time to get acquainted with the atmosphere. But since, as I told before, people are very welcoming at the meetings, nervousness, though non-avoidable, was minimal.

We started with coffee and tea at the bar, introductions all around, and some of us changed into more appropriate clothing than street-wear. After that relaxing half an hour, the night really started.

So what were the attractions of the evening?

Several people demonstrated BDSM techniques, with the help of some lovely assistants.

What techniques I hear you ask?

There was bondage: Japanese (aesthetic) and suspension and we were told the advantages of using (synthetic) hemp over cotton for ropes. Yes, (synthetic) hemp is better because it doesn't stretch, but natural hemp needs some preparation before it can be used for bondage. And then there was talk of what kind of knots to use, how you always need a knife at hand, just in case, and other safety issues. Suffice it to say that I won't participate in any suspension unless I know my partner knows what's what and has done at least an introductory course. But it did look very hot, especially the suspension part. Seeing a person being hoisted by ropes all around the body, carefully positioned to carry the weight easily and painlessly, then floating in the air, totally helpless and in easy reach of floggers, is just ... wow!

There was also wax play, which is something I've experienced myself already, and is something I really love. For this demonstration I wouldn't have minded being the volunteer. Maybe next time. The safety messages here were: don't use wax candles, because they get too hot; don't use tea lights, the pooling of liquid makes it too easy to splash, and the metal bit at the bottom will burn if it drops on bare skin; don't pour anything on clothing of synthetic fibres, it may melt and burn; don't pool liquid in the belly button or other hollows, since the building heat will get too much. One tip, which very much appeals to the frugal Dutch, is that the cheapest candles are the best for this kind of play.

Flogging was shown as well, with various types of floggers, peddles, whips and other implements. Different techniques of wielding were demonstrated, whips were passed around to get a feel of them, and we were told of the different sensations the implements gave. The tips and warnings given were too numerous and specific to share here, so I'll not bother.

Finally we show a violet wand being used. This was very interesting, to say the least. I don't know who experienced one, it was totally new for me. When the lights were dimmed, you could really see the sparks, and it was hard to realise that no harm was being done. One thing, though: it definitely isn't for me. I got a little taste of just a line on my arm, and it hurt awfully. It might have been just me, but the red line was visible for days and my arm even had a bruise the next day, which lasted longer than the line. I guess I'm very sensitive to that kind of sensation.

Now the spectators got the chance to try things out themselves, which they did very enthusiastically, with lots of help and good advice.
I didn't participate, having no partner to share this with, but looked on, chatted, had a drink and generally amused myself. It was a great and very informative evening.

Thursday, 22 November 2012


For all American friends: Happy Thanksgiving and for all my friends: Have a wonderful day.

No Thanksgiving celebrations over here, no turkey, yams, or pie, more's the pity.

But we can still think of the things we're grateful for.

- I'm grateful for my children: just their existence makes this world a better place
- I'm grateful that the pregnancy of my daughter is going well
- I'm grateful that my second grandchild will be born in a couple of months
- I'm grateful I can afford to pay for the trip to be there for the birth
- I'm grateful for my friends, both in RL and on the web
- I'm grateful for my introduction into BDSM, this journey is eventful and satisfying
- I'm grateful for my health
- I'm grateful to have a job that pays the bills
- I'm grateful for my hobbies
- I'm grateful for the support of PK and all the others for my writing
- I'm grateful for readers of my blog
- I'm grateful for the life I live

Make this day a good one!

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Authors Tagging Authors - The Next Big Thing

I got tagged by PK. I'm not thinking about a book (yet), but I am working on story number 2. It's harder than the first one, for some reason, but I'll get there.

 Here are the rules:

 • Give credit to the person/blog that tagged you

• Post the rules for this hop

• Answer these ten questions about your current WIP (Work In Progress) on your blog

• Tag five other writers/bloggers and add their links so we can hop over and meet them.

1. What is the working title of your book?

Hmm, if I ever get around to it, the working title would probably be "Susan's New Life". 

2. What genre does the book fall under?

Romance, BDSM, middle aged people having sex and enjoying it.

3. Which actors would you choose to play your characters for the movie rendition?

A Sean Connery for Jason.  Who would mind getting spanked by the likes of him?

Susan actually looks a lot like me. So where do I find a picture of a middle aged, dark haired, slightly overweight woman that is not me? But Sylvia Kristel would do, hadn't she died earlier this year.

4. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A mature woman's journey into BDSM.

5. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Self-published, probably, but I haven't decided yet. And how could I, when I've not even started writing it?

6. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Still working on it.

7. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I have no idea about books within my genre: I haven't read anything but short stories yet, and those were all on-line.

8. Who or what inspired you to write this book?

It's all PK's fault. When reading Fantasy Friday stories I decided to try my hand at writing as well. So I wrote "Susan's Debut", sent it to her and she put it up. So now, after encouragement from her and her readers, I'm struggling with story number 2.

9. What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

It's about people: love, attraction, insecurity, passion, pleasure, fear, trust.

Question #10 Tag, you’re it!

They're not all fiction writers, but I love the writing on their blogs. I would love to tag Cassie, but PK already answered the questions, so let's not do that.

Claire (1950's Wife)
Heather (Discipline & Dreams)
Lillie (At Ian & Lillie's Place)
abby (Finallly Finding Me)
Bas (New Life in DD)

Saturday, 10 November 2012

Love Our Lurkers Day

Dear lurkers,

It's the 7th Love Our Lurkers Day, as I've just found out, and the first time I experience this.
I wasn't a lurker last year (or any year before that) and now I'm a blogger.
It's really all very shocking, or at least unexpected: in the last 6 months I've come out as a masochist, experimented with BDSM, started a blog, written a story for Fantasy Friday at New Beginnings and it now my little blog has had over 600 visits!

So if you're a lurker here, I'd love to meet you. Just say hi, let me know who you are, and let the world know you're here. Don't feel obliged to use your real name or email, this is the net and we can be as anonymous as we want to be, but we don't need to be silent: we can be friends and talk.

Monday, 29 October 2012

Yes/No meme

I found this at Bas' site New Life in DD, who found it at PK’s site Elis New Beginnings.
PK invites everybody to copy the questions and put in your own answers.

Only two rules: You must answer yes or no. You may not explain unless someone asks.

Taken a picture naked? No
Made money illegally? No
Had a one night stand? Yes
Been in a fist fight? Yes
Slept with your best friend? No
Had sex in a public place? No
Ditched work to have sex? No
Slept with a member of the same sex? No
Seen someone die? No
Ran from the police? Yes
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? No
Worn your partners unmentionables? No
Fallen asleep at work? No
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Ran a red light? No
Been fired? Yes
Been in a car accident? Yes
Pole danced or done a striptease? Yes
Loved someone you shouldn't? Yes
Sang karaoke? No
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? No
Caught someone having sex? No
Kissed a perfect stranger? Yes
Shaved your partner? Yes
Given your private parts a nickname? No
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? No
Played chicken? No
Mooned/flashed someone? No
Do you sleep naked? Yes
Blacked out from drinking? Yes
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day? Yes
Been with someone because they were in a band? No
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day? Yes
Shot a gun? Yes
Gone outside naked? Yes

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

My First Munch

Right, this post has been long overdue. This actually happened before any of my shopping expeditions, but I hadn't come around to writing about it yet.

For those of you who have no idea what a munch is, like I just a few months ago, according to the Urban Dictionary it is:
A low-pressure, social gathering at a restaurant or pub for people into BDSM. Particularly intended for people new to the scene who might be intimidated by a play party.
Well, if you don't feel ready for a play party, drop by the munch next week and meet some people.

There is an organisation in the Netherlands, the VSSM (, which busies itself with BDSM. VSSM is an abbreviation of Vereniging Studiegroep Sadomasochisme (Association Study group SadoMasochism), since in the day a study group for SM sounded more acceptable than an organisation where you could practice your interests.

This organisation organises regular munches, where interested persons can meet in a relaxed atmosphere, get information about BDSM, talk with like minded people and have fun. After reading their site, I joined as a member, even before I ever went to one of their meetings. I was so convinced I would like it, that I decided it would be worth the money for me. Besides: I'll be coming out ahead if I go to just 5 meetings a year.

So on a hot day in August, I went to the nearby city of Amersfoort for my first visit.

As you can imagine, I was nervous, and that, combined with the heat, made for an uncomfortable start of the day. I took extra care with my make up and clothing, because I wanted to look good. I also made sure I wasn't late, so of course I was way too early and therefore had some tea at the station before taking the bus. The bus ride wasn't long, but when I saw the building it felt as if we'd left town: it's in the middle of trees, in a very quiet neighbourhood, like visiting the woods.

When I arrived, people were already waiting until the door opened. Everybody was lovely and welcoming, waiting in the shade under the trees, just chatting and laughing. It was very clear to see that most of them already knew each other, but newbies, like me, were very much accepted.

The building itself, being low and made out of wood, was very hot as well, since the air conditioning hadn't fully kicked in yet, so after showing my membership card I headed straight for the bar to get myself some more tea.

It was one large room, with a bar, some couches around a table and a curtained off playroom, with a massage table, a cross, and some large beams with chains. The play area also had some couches, for lookers on. There was also a changing room, which several people used to slip into something more (un)comfortable. This room doubled as a smoking room, since you can't really expect people to go out for a smoke while (un)dressed for playing: it's better to be a bit discrete.

I sent a lot of time chatting to people. I was advised by several to register at, a website for people with our lifestyle, and I got told about the fetish shop I already blogged about.

At some point I went into the play area to have a look. People were playing there: woman on man, man on man, 3 men on 2 women. Everybody was having a great time, there was lots of talking, laughing, giggling and pure pleasure. While watching I got to try out some handcuffs: they were nice enough, but not really my thing, but perhaps they will turn out to be an acquired taste.

I got two offers for play, and accepted one. The leather wrist and ankle cuffs felt good, but stripping to my underwear and top in public was weird. Not uncomfortable exactly, but weird nonetheless. I've never been a prude, but I'm no exhibitionist either. Still, in the context, it wasn't much different from stripping in a gym locker room. But the moment play started I closed my eyes and went away: I was in subspace even before things got more serious.

After being cuffed with my back to the cross I was slapped on the thighs, scratched on the arms, and my nipples were pinched. I also got to be standing there while being watched. Than, after being turned around, my butt and back got the same kind of attention. It all felt real good.

Afterwards I got a nice cuddle on a couch, before going to the bar for a nice cold drink: just some ice water can taste real good. Then I felt ice cubes down my back, which felt very nice, being sore and still very hot.

It took me a long time to return on earth and before I remembered to thank my partner for a very nice time. On my way back, I was thinking about my next munch and what to wear then and in bed, when I felt my painful backside, I never even shifted to get more comfortable, I just relished the feeling.

Monday, 1 October 2012

On the Town - Part II

A week later I was back at the fetish shop, Laced-Up Boutique in Utrecht, to get on the mailing list for tickets for the party, and now the owner, Sarah, was present again.

After putting myself on the list and paying for the ticket, I asked her when the new corsets would be in. I was asked what corset I wanted and in which size, when she produced the correct one from the back.

After being helped into it, ascertaining it was indeed the right size, and admiring myself in the mirror again, and getting instructions on how to put it on myself and how to care for it, I paid for it and took it home. The service in this shop is just wonderful!

Now I've got my ticket, they were in a few days later, and appropriate clothing, so let December come. I'm ready!

For this shop see: or

Corset in Satijn en Kant in Rood en Zwart van Laced-Up Boutique
For all you curious people, yes, I mean you, Bas, this is the corset, but my size is a bit bigger than that of the model. I'll be wearing it complete with black suspenders, shiny black stockings and a long black skirt, with buttons all the way down.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

On the Town

It was a lovely day Saturday, so I went to town for some shopping: some necessary, some not so.

First the herbal store, for some urgent shopping of a personal nature, and I won't be going into any details.

Then I went to the Lush shop, I love that we have one in Utrecht now, for some toiletries. The staff in Lush shops is unfailingly friendly, helpful and enthusiastic, making my visits there always a pleasure, and the products they sell are amazing. I left with my purchases and no fewer than 3 free samples, one for a product of my choice.

On to the game store, for a book I wanted and a toy I hadn't planned on purchasing, but sometimes a girl sees a temptation she can't withstand. OK, you can take your mind out of the gutter now, I'm not talking about that kind of toy!

By then I was ready for a beer, for which I went to the city canal, where you can sit at the waterside for a drink or, indeed, a meal. So that's what I did, I sat at the canal and had a drink, enjoying the sunshine, my beer and my new book. Pure bliss!

And where did I go from there, I hear you ask? That's right: to the fetish shop I visited last week. I'd seen some nice corsets there, and I wanted to check if I still liked them as much as when I last saw them.
The one I liked best is red, with the stays picked out in black, This time I took it off the rack and was amazed at the weight of it. Who knew it could be so heavy? I looked at some other corsets, as well as at the discount rack, but this was still my favourite.
I was greeted by a young lady that remembered me from last week, and she came over to help me. It wasn't until I heard myself tell her I wanted an over the bust corset, preferably in red, possibly in black or blue, that I realised how much thought I'd already given it.
Tea was offered and accepted again and my waist was measured. The sales lady brought me my favourite in two sizes. The first one she put on me was the size that agreed with my waist measurement, but she never even bothered to lace it up, since it was evidently too big. The second one fitter better, and she had me lean forward, hands on the wall, to lace me up from the back. That made me feel very submissive, as did wearing the corset itself.
When I looked in the mirror I was surprised: it looked as if it was made for me! It's small wonder it gave me a waist, that's what corsets are for, of course, and I already know red's a great colour for me, but the overall effect was stunning. I looked years younger, much slimmer and, dare I say it, quite beautiful. Only problem was: even this smaller size was a bit big on me, and they didn't have the next smaller one in stock.
Buying this one would be a mistake, since I've been losing weight lately and continue to do so, and I don't want to spend quite a bit of money on an article of clothing I can only wear a couple of times before it really is too big on me. I also need to keep in mind that corsets will get a bit wider with wear, because they become slightly less rigid.
I did try on another one, in the smaller size, to see if that fit better, and it did. When I looked in the mirror, it looked fine, I looked fine, but there wasn't the Wow! factor of the other corset. So that settled it, I didn't buy a thing, but I'll be notified through e-mail as soon as the right size will be in stock.
I got myself a lollipop, heard about a fetish party that will happen in a few months time, and finally went home.

I can't wait until I get that e-mail, and I already know how to dress for that party.

Sunday, 2 September 2012


Today I went to a fetish shop that was recommended to me.

As I arrived, I saw some lingerie in the window display, as well as some other clothing, it all looked rather inviting, even though there could be no doubt what kind of shop it is. So I walked in and looked around, after turning off my mp3 player: I don't like to wear headphones when chances are I'll be talking to people, I find that as rude as talking on my cell phone while trying to communicate with someone else.

I started with looking at the corsets and the leather wear. While browsing the jewellery, I was addressed by the woman behind the counter, I was rather surprised she talked to me in English: she's an American who opened a shop over here. It's a funny old world, isn't it?

I walked over to her and we chatted a bit about her shop and merchandise, when she offered me a drink. I was very happy to accept a cup of tea. We were joined in our conversation by some other people, who obviously visited that shop a lot, and before I know it, four of us were standing in front of the shop for a smoke, me with my tea.

I then went down a floor to look at the toys. There were a lot of nice floggers, vibrators and butt plugs of all kinds, and some things I have no idea what they're being used for. Very interesting to say the least.

After some more talking and joking with a couple of very nice young gentlemen, I tried out and bought a Wartenberg wheel, as well as a beautiful silver triskellion. The latter was on a rather short piece of ribbon, but I've put it on a leather cord now, so I can wear it as a necklace. After paying I was invited to take a lollipop, so as I walked back to the bus stop I was sucking something sweet.

All in all a nice and relaxing experience, and I already know I'll be visiting that shop again.

Friday, 31 August 2012

Never Say Never

After having fantasies about BDSM for my whole life, I finally, finally acted upon them, and the only regret I have is that I waited this long.

I've only just started on my journey, and I don't have a partner to share this with, but I do know that this is what I want, that it is more than just some fantasy: BDSM is right for me, I need to be spanked, submission is part of my character. And that partner? When the time is right, when I'm ready for him, he'll come: I'll find him and he'll find me.

I never would have believed I'd be here, that I'd ever act upon my urges, and yet it has happened, I took the first steps and it feels right. I'm terrified as well, since I don't know what's going to happen next, I want to feel in control, but giving myself up to someone else is what I need, what truly sets me free. I've always taken care of everybody around me, and I still tend to do that, but now it's time to take care of myself. I'm loving it, it makes me happy, something I've not been for far too long.