BDSM for Beginners

Public Service Announcement
Remember folks: before you enter into any kind of play described below, you should get informed. Make sure you know what you're doing, surf the web for information, and even get somebody to teach you, if and when possible. Not to frighten anybody off, but things can get hairy, so be safe. Always think of the three important words: Safe, Sane, Consensual. And have fun!

After my first munch, I knew that I really like the VSSM and I also realised that I'm still a newbie as far as BDSM is concerned. So when the VSSM organised an information evening I decided to attend.

The location was the same as for the munch, but instead of a Sunday afternoon, this was on a Friday evening.

Once again I was early, though not as early as last time, which gave me time to grab a hamburger before jumping on the bus, but I still was the first one there, apart from the people who were busy setting things up for the evening. But it didn't take long before a car arrived, so I didn't have to wait alone until the door opened.

The new arrival was a going to demonstrate that evening, and we had a nice chat together until it was time to get the show on the road.

There were quite a lot of first-time visitors that night, who needed some time to get acquainted with the atmosphere. But since, as I told before, people are very welcoming at the meetings, nervousness, though non-avoidable, was minimal.

We started with coffee and tea at the bar, introductions all around, and some of us changed into more appropriate clothing than street-wear. After that relaxing half an hour, the night really started.

So what were the attractions of the evening?

Several people demonstrated BDSM techniques, with the help of some lovely assistants.

What techniques I hear you ask?

There was bondage: Japanese (aesthetic) and suspension and we were told the advantages of using (synthetic) hemp over cotton for ropes. Yes, (synthetic) hemp is better because it doesn't stretch, but natural hemp needs some preparation before it can be used for bondage. And then there was talk of what kind of knots to use, how you always need a knife at hand, just in case, and other safety issues. Suffice it to say that I won't participate in any suspension unless I know my partner knows what's what and has done at least an introductory course. But it did look very hot, especially the suspension part. Seeing a person being hoisted by ropes all around the body, carefully positioned to carry the weight easily and painlessly, then floating in the air, totally helpless and in easy reach of floggers, is just ... wow!

There was also wax play, which is something I've experienced myself already, and is something I really love. For this demonstration I wouldn't have minded being the volunteer. Maybe next time. The safety messages here were: don't use wax candles, because they get too hot; don't use tea lights, the pooling of liquid makes it too easy to splash, and the metal bit at the bottom will burn if it drops on bare skin; don't pour anything on clothing of synthetic fibres, it may melt and burn; don't pool liquid in the belly button or other hollows, since the building heat will get too much. One tip, which very much appeals to the frugal Dutch, is that the cheapest candles are the best for this kind of play.


Flogging was shown as well, with various types of floggers, peddles, whips and other implements. Different techniques of wielding were demonstrated, whips were passed around to get a feel of them, and we were told of the different sensations the implements gave. The tips and warnings given were too numerous and specific to share here, so I'll not bother.

Finally we show a violet wand being used. This was very interesting, to say the least. I don't know who experienced one, it was totally new for me. When the lights were dimmed, you could really see the sparks, and it was hard to realise that no harm was being done. One thing, though: it definitely isn't for me. I got a little taste of just a line on my arm, and it hurt awfully. It might have been just me, but the red line was visible for days and my arm even had a bruise the next day, which lasted longer than the line. I guess I'm very sensitive to that kind of sensation.

Now the spectators got the chance to try things out themselves, which they did very enthusiastically, with lots of help and good advice.
I didn't participate, having no partner to share this with, but looked on, chatted, had a drink and generally amused myself. It was a great and very informative evening.