Friday, 31 August 2012

Never Say Never

After having fantasies about BDSM for my whole life, I finally, finally acted upon them, and the only regret I have is that I waited this long.

I've only just started on my journey, and I don't have a partner to share this with, but I do know that this is what I want, that it is more than just some fantasy: BDSM is right for me, I need to be spanked, submission is part of my character. And that partner? When the time is right, when I'm ready for him, he'll come: I'll find him and he'll find me.

I never would have believed I'd be here, that I'd ever act upon my urges, and yet it has happened, I took the first steps and it feels right. I'm terrified as well, since I don't know what's going to happen next, I want to feel in control, but giving myself up to someone else is what I need, what truly sets me free. I've always taken care of everybody around me, and I still tend to do that, but now it's time to take care of myself. I'm loving it, it makes me happy, something I've not been for far too long.