The Sweet get Sweets, the Bad get the Rod (Wie Zoet is krijgt Lekkers, Wie Stout is de Roe)

This is more rigid
than it looks
and it really hurts

The title of this entry is from a Sinterklaas song, since it's almost 5 December again and since it fits for another reason as well, as you can find out by reading on.

I'm feeling a bit sore and I have some bruising, all reminders of a nice evening.

Another Friday night, but no demonstration this time, just a regular meeting at an unusual day and time.

Was I early again? What do you think? At least this time I didn't have to wait for more than 10-15 minutes.

Quite a lot of the faces this night were people I'd seen before, which made me feel right at home. The people I didn't know yet, introduced themselves while we were having our first drink at the bar. I'm very happy they took the initiative, since I'm an introvert and have difficulties mingling. I try, but it doesn't come easily to me.


I went to the changing room, took off my long sleeved, demure blouse and put on a little black lacy see through one over my black bra, along with some high heeled shoes, before unbuttoning my long skirt until the knee, thereby setting off my legs and stockings while I sat on a barstool, with my legs crossed. It surprises me that I'm comfortable doing that, even though I normally don't dress explicitly sexy.

It was very nice to see the gentleman I'd played with before, see My First Munch, and yes, we ended up playing again.

He started with cuffing my wrists and ankles and we went to the play area before I undressed to my underwear, taking off my bra as well. He took out a rope and engaged in (Japanese) bondage. As I stood there, hands on my head, I could feel the rope sliding over my body, which felt very sensual. My partner made sure my breasts really stood out, and my nipples signalled how much I enjoyed this, as did my crotch: yes, I was more than a little horny. And being taken to a mirror to look at myself, only made it worse (or even better, according to your own opinion).

What was hard for me was seeing myself as he saw me: as beautiful. I know I'm good looking, attractive, but I also realise only too well that I'm middle aged and over weight. I guess it's easier for me to see myself as beautiful if I have a real life partner who does that as well, something I've missed for too long. *shrug*

The cross was occupied, so we went to the massage table. Since my hands were now cuffed behind my back, I had to be helped on there. So there I was, hands behind my back, just in underwear, shoes and rope, lying on my belly, getting flogged, spanked and caressed. Hmm: how can hands that soft spank so hard?

Then I was turned over and my front got a lot of attention and pain, with amongst other things a bundle of rods (see picture) and a riding crop. I really got close to my boundaries, luckily my playmate watched my reactions closely and made sure he didn't go too far.

When we stopped I was shaking from cold, not because of the temperature, but as a reaction to our play, so I was happy to wear his jacket, over his rope artwork. After a drink and a smoke, we sat down to watch other players, him on the couch, me kneeling at his feet. I didn't mind that, well, not until it became uncomfortable, but it didn't do anything for me either. He kept teasing me, checking between my legs to find out how excited I was, stroking my breasts and pinching my nipples.

So it seems that I'm more a masochist than a submissive. It's something I've been thinking about, asking myself questions like: Is it normal? Hah, what's normal about BDSM anyway. Will it change? Perhaps, just wait and see. Will I feel differently when I meet "the right man"? No idea, let's find him first. How will I feel in 5 years time? I don't know (yet).

I made sure I was untied and dressed with plenty of time to catch my bus back and arrived home a very satisfied woman.

BDSM for Beginners

Public Service Announcement
Remember folks: before you enter into any kind of play described below, you should get informed. Make sure you know what you're doing, surf the web for information, and even get somebody to teach you, if and when possible. Not to frighten anybody off, but things can get hairy, so be safe. Always think of the three important words: Safe, Sane, Consensual. And have fun!

After my first munch, I knew that I really like the VSSM and I also realised that I'm still a newbie as far as BDSM is concerned. So when the VSSM organised an information evening I decided to attend.

The location was the same as for the munch, but instead of a Sunday afternoon, this was on a Friday evening.

Once again I was early, though not as early as last time, which gave me time to grab a hamburger before jumping on the bus, but I still was the first one there, apart from the people who were busy setting things up for the evening. But it didn't take long before a car arrived, so I didn't have to wait alone until the door opened.

The new arrival was a going to demonstrate that evening, and we had a nice chat together until it was time to get the show on the road.

There were quite a lot of first-time visitors that night, who needed some time to get acquainted with the atmosphere. But since, as I told before, people are very welcoming at the meetings, nervousness, though non-avoidable, was minimal.

We started with coffee and tea at the bar, introductions all around, and some of us changed into more appropriate clothing than street-wear. After that relaxing half an hour, the night really started.

So what were the attractions of the evening?

Several people demonstrated BDSM techniques, with the help of some lovely assistants.

What techniques I hear you ask?

There was bondage: Japanese (aesthetic) and suspension and we were told the advantages of using (synthetic) hemp over cotton for ropes. Yes, (synthetic) hemp is better because it doesn't stretch, but natural hemp needs some preparation before it can be used for bondage. And then there was talk of what kind of knots to use, how you always need a knife at hand, just in case, and other safety issues. Suffice it to say that I won't participate in any suspension unless I know my partner knows what's what and has done at least an introductory course. But it did look very hot, especially the suspension part. Seeing a person being hoisted by ropes all around the body, carefully positioned to carry the weight easily and painlessly, then floating in the air, totally helpless and in easy reach of floggers, is just ... wow!

There was also wax play, which is something I've experienced myself already, and is something I really love. For this demonstration I wouldn't have minded being the volunteer. Maybe next time. The safety messages here were: don't use wax candles, because they get too hot; don't use tea lights, the pooling of liquid makes it too easy to splash, and the metal bit at the bottom will burn if it drops on bare skin; don't pour anything on clothing of synthetic fibres, it may melt and burn; don't pool liquid in the belly button or other hollows, since the building heat will get too much. One tip, which very much appeals to the frugal Dutch, is that the cheapest candles are the best for this kind of play.


Flogging was shown as well, with various types of floggers, peddles, whips and other implements. Different techniques of wielding were demonstrated, whips were passed around to get a feel of them, and we were told of the different sensations the implements gave. The tips and warnings given were too numerous and specific to share here, so I'll not bother.

Finally we show a violet wand being used. This was very interesting, to say the least. I don't know who experienced one, it was totally new for me. When the lights were dimmed, you could really see the sparks, and it was hard to realise that no harm was being done. One thing, though: it definitely isn't for me. I got a little taste of just a line on my arm, and it hurt awfully. It might have been just me, but the red line was visible for days and my arm even had a bruise the next day, which lasted longer than the line. I guess I'm very sensitive to that kind of sensation.

Now the spectators got the chance to try things out themselves, which they did very enthusiastically, with lots of help and good advice.
I didn't participate, having no partner to share this with, but looked on, chatted, had a drink and generally amused myself. It was a great and very informative evening.

Thanksgiving

For all American friends: Happy Thanksgiving and for all my friends: Have a wonderful day.

No Thanksgiving celebrations over here, no turkey, yams, or pie, more's the pity.

But we can still think of the things we're grateful for.

- I'm grateful for my children: just their existence makes this world a better place
- I'm grateful that the pregnancy of my daughter is going well
- I'm grateful that my second grandchild will be born in a couple of months
- I'm grateful I can afford to pay for the trip to be there for the birth
- I'm grateful for my friends, both in RL and on the web
- I'm grateful for my introduction into BDSM, this journey is eventful and satisfying
- I'm grateful for my health
- I'm grateful to have a job that pays the bills
- I'm grateful for my hobbies
- I'm grateful for the support of PK and all the others for my writing
- I'm grateful for readers of my blog
- I'm grateful for the life I live

Make this day a good one!

Authors Tagging Authors - The Next Big Thing

I got tagged by PK. I'm not thinking about a book (yet), but I am working on story number 2. It's harder than the first one, for some reason, but I'll get there.

 Here are the rules:

 • Give credit to the person/blog that tagged you

• Post the rules for this hop

• Answer these ten questions about your current WIP (Work In Progress) on your blog

• Tag five other writers/bloggers and add their links so we can hop over and meet them.


1. What is the working title of your book?

Hmm, if I ever get around to it, the working title would probably be "Susan's New Life". 

2. What genre does the book fall under?

Romance, BDSM, middle aged people having sex and enjoying it.

3. Which actors would you choose to play your characters for the movie rendition?

A Sean Connery for Jason.  Who would mind getting spanked by the likes of him?

Susan actually looks a lot like me. So where do I find a picture of a middle aged, dark haired, slightly overweight woman that is not me? But Sylvia Kristel would do, hadn't she died earlier this year.



4. What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

A mature woman's journey into BDSM.

5. Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

Self-published, probably, but I haven't decided yet. And how could I, when I've not even started writing it?

6. How long did it take you to write the first draft of your manuscript?

Still working on it.

7. What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

I have no idea about books within my genre: I haven't read anything but short stories yet, and those were all on-line.

8. Who or what inspired you to write this book?

It's all PK's fault. When reading Fantasy Friday stories I decided to try my hand at writing as well. So I wrote "Susan's Debut", sent it to her and she put it up. So now, after encouragement from her and her readers, I'm struggling with story number 2.

9. What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

It's about people: love, attraction, insecurity, passion, pleasure, fear, trust.

Question #10 Tag, you’re it!

They're not all fiction writers, but I love the writing on their blogs. I would love to tag Cassie, but PK already answered the questions, so let's not do that.

Claire (1950's Wife)
Heather (Discipline & Dreams)
Lillie (At Ian & Lillie's Place)
abby (Finallly Finding Me)
Bas (New Life in DD)

Love Our Lurkers Day

Dear lurkers,

It's the 7th Love Our Lurkers Day, as I've just found out, and the first time I experience this.
I wasn't a lurker last year (or any year before that) and now I'm a blogger.
It's really all very shocking, or at least unexpected: in the last 6 months I've come out as a masochist, experimented with BDSM, started a blog, written a story for Fantasy Friday at New Beginnings and it now my little blog has had over 600 visits!

So if you're a lurker here, I'd love to meet you. Just say hi, let me know who you are, and let the world know you're here. Don't feel obliged to use your real name or email, this is the net and we can be as anonymous as we want to be, but we don't need to be silent: we can be friends and talk.