Tuesday, 29 July 2014

My 'Naked' Truth

This is a little something I wrote on FetLife.

I've been reading. Yes, that happens, but what I want to write about is this: My 'Naked' Truth. It's about a mature woman who gets turned down by a potential lover because she's "too wrinkly". And why do I want to write about this? Because it resonated with me.

I've been unsure about my appearance for as long as I can remember. Growing up, I can't remember a moment I felt beautiful, ever. Until I met my love, who showed me how beautiful I was to him. All was well with me and the world, and I basked in his love.

Unfortunately, we don't live in fairy tales and our Happily Ever After, wasn't. And here is where that article comes in.
I truly believed that whenever I'd start dating, seeing other men, they would react like that Dave. I was convinced they'd judge me as being too old, too flabby, too wrinkly, too plain. I anticipated looks of disappointment and downright disgust. I never saw anything of the kind. Now, granted, I haven't started dating yet, but I have played, I've been undressed with men, they have seen me, and I saw them looking at me. I saw no disappointment, no disgust. What I did see was excitement, pleasure, looks of concentration, amusement at my reactions, people having fun. And that when my play partners all have been younger than me.
It definitely helps me feeling good about myself, and slightly silly about my apprehensions.

So tell me, how come it’s all been so nice for me?

Is it that kinksters care less about appearances than vanilla’s? Do they look for/at different things? Have I just been very lucky? Is that Dave the exception and are most men nicer than he is? Am I more attractive than I give myself credit for? OK, if you never met me, you don’t have to try to answer that last question.

I do feel better about the prospect of dating ever again though. Thank you gentlemen (you know who you are).

6 comments:

  1. I think your self-esteem goes a long way toward the way other people see you. When you feel better about yourself, others feel better about you. Good for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, I recognise that, I think we all do. There are days when you're feeling so good about yourself that all you see and experience is that others smile when they see you.

      Delete
  2. Interesting question Julia. I do agree with Leigh and also think perhaps Dave isn't 'typical'. Glad you feel more confident about dating.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I certainly hope Dave isn't typical. When I read that article, it just made me so mad. Here you are, with the woman you've been admiring for so long, and all you can see is that she's not a 20 something any more.
      His loss of course, but so short sighted and bigoted. Makes me want to smack some common sense into him.

      Delete
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