Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Crime and Punishment

No, nothing to do with the legal system, but I was in trouble.
Remember my post about Andrew and orgasm control? That is hot! Listening to him on the phone, me begging him for release, him telling me to cum for him, my body reacting to his voice: that is great, I love it. But then there's also the orgasm denial, where he will tell me I'm not allowed to cum and where no amount of begging or pleading will make him change his mind. I do not love that part, I can tell you.

But of course orgasm denial was part of the deal as well. And not only was I not allowed to cum, we also chatted about that daily, with me pleading and Andrew making me tell him how hard it was for me and what I felt. He also told me that I would be punished, if I dared cum without permission. Yes, he was setting me up for failure, I knew that at the time. He is seeing how far he can push me and what I am prepared to take from him. But I was coping: not happy, but coping.

This had been going on for what, a week? And then, one day, I was chatting with Luke and told him. Of course he was amused, he would be! And to "help" me, he pointed me to some porn he thought I'd like. Mind you, I was already thoroughly frustrated by this time, I didn't dare touch myself because that would surely set me off, and Luke made sure I got worked up even more. But when I went to bed I was still in control.

That night I woke up because I was orgasming. Yep, you read that right, I woke up because I was cumming. You know, there was that very vivid dream, I came, and I woke up. And when I did wake up, was I touching myself? Was I masturbating? No, not at all. I had been behaving so beautifully, and all for nothing. If only I hadn't woken up, but I had.

In the morning I texted Andrew, confessing what had happened. He told me to contact Luke, to ask him to punish me. Yes, that's right, he had me ask for it. And I did.

It took some time to get it sorted, since Luke was quite busy. In fact, it was several weeks before I was punished. As you can imagine, my nerves were playing up. Even though Luke had said it would be funishment, not punishment, because my offence was unintentional, it would be painful. The only difference would be in the mindset. And of course, Luke is into giving pain.

Painful it was, terrible, glorious, awesome, awful, wonderful. There was more pain than I ever thought I could deal with, but I took it, all of it. I never soared higher than after that session, and my high lasted for days. During the session I wasn't thinking of Luke, but of Andrew, and the pictures I posted of my markings were for Andrew, not for Luke or me.

At some point Luke called Andrew my Dom, and I wanted to say: "No, he is not my Dom," but I couldn't get those words out, because I suddenly realised that, yes, he is my Dom now. That is how I call him, and I call myself his sub. Just like that.

2 comments:

  1. Hi Julia, terrible, glorious, awful, wonderful ... yep I'm with you there.

    Oh my, waking up cuming? Definitely not your fault, not intentional. Sounds like both Andrew and Luke set you up to fail. Interesting that Luke called Andrew your Dom. Does this mean two Dom's?

    Hugs
    Roz

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  2. Oh yes, I definitely was set up. Not by the two of them, but by Andrew. Luke was just happy to make life difficult for me. That's sadists for you.
    No Luke isn't, and has never been, my Dom. He's my play partner: he loves to inflict pain, I love to receive it, so it works out great. When we're playing, he is in charge, but that doesn't mean I'm his sub, just that he's the top and I'm the bottom. And outside of play we're friends.
    And of course it was not my fault, but that doesn't mean there are no consequences. If only I hadn't woken up, then I had never even known.
    Ah well, it would have happened sooner or later anyway.

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