Friday, 11 April 2014

That was the week that was

On Monday I got an inkling that Luke might be a kinkster. On Sunday I got the confirmation. On Monday I came out to him and we planned a meeting to discuss for the Wednesday a week later.
Until that time, we talked in person twice, and a couple of times more on Fetlife, where Luke asked me to fill in a questionnaire. Truth be told: I hate those. I've done it before, and probably will do it time and time again, I see why they're important, but I just hate filling them in. What do I want, what do I need, what do I expect, what can't I do, what are my limits, how's my health, what are my experiences? You go over them point by point, reading and thinking and answering, and find out later you missed a couple of questions, checked the wrong box, misunderstood, or otherwise goofed.
Sent the questionnaire, saved a copy. Agreed in chat that our relationship will be non-exclusive. This is not for a Happily Ever After, but just for the Here and Now, for as long as we're both happy with it.
Tuesday, the day before, we chat on Fetlife, determining to meet at 10, my place, go out for a coffee/tea, talk and possibly more. And then Luke mentioned sex, and I freaked.
For those of you that don't know this: a BDSM session may include sex, but that is not at all necessary. In fact, parties in the scene often have a No Penetration rule. This means that when I played in the Netherlands, there was no sex. Neither was there any sex with my first play partner, since he is in a committed relationship and although our sessions were suggested by his partner, this was a hard limit for her. So for me there is no correlation between play and sex. To that now add that I haven't had sex in longer than I care to remember, and certainly longer than I'm going to tell you all, coupled with the fact that Luke is so much younger than me that it's impossible to believe he could be attracted to me, and you start getting my freak.
Wednesday morning came and I got busy. Helping everybody get ready to leave for work and daycare, having a shower and dressing (just jeans and a thin sweater, but nice underwear), doing laundry and ironing, get the meat defrosted, preparing what I can for dinner, drinking a pot of tea and waiting for 10 o'clock. I was not just nervous: I was terrified. Not afraid of what Luke was going to do, but of what I was getting myself into. How much of a slut was I, taking the initiative like that? Was I really ready for this? Did I want to talk about what I crave? Would we play today? Could I go for a session? And would there be sex?
Luke was on time and we drove to the beach. I grew up close to the sea and have always loved it. We walked and talked, sat and went through the list, walked and talked some more, found a place where I could get a pot of tea. The weather was nice enough, so we sat outside, where we could chat without being overheard.
Most topics had been discussed by now: hard and soft limits, wants and cravings, double penetration and anal sex, my past experiences, my last relationship, my dry spell, expectations, outlook on mind games (I don't like them, Luke does), what to do if it doesn't work out between us.
Me: "So: sex sex. Are we going to have that?" Luke: "We can have sex, if you want. Do you want to?" Me: "I think it's bloody well time." That made us both laugh, and we talked about safe sex.
We drove to his place. Until this moment we'd hardly touched at all, and I reached over to take his hand. He pressed mine, grinned, and reached over to play with my nipple, teasing it out of my bra, under my clothing, while I leaned back and relished the touch.
At his place I needed the bathroom, urgently. Not surprising, with the nerves and after all that tea.
In the bedroom Luke got his toys sorted and put a towel on the bed. "Right, let's get you naked." I waited for a moment, to see if he wanted to undress me, but he just watched me and I stripped. It had been ages since I last undressed with a man looking on and I was surprised I wasn't more nervous. When I was naked, he checked me out, making me very uncomfortable. I know I look good for my age, but I'm a middle aged woman, slightly overweight, sagging, with my body showing clear signs of past pregnancies. Having someone watch me like that, feels like I'm being judged. At least he didn't look repulsed. And I looked at him, in his jeans, no longer wearing his shirt, looking so lean and trim and young.
Luke told me to get on the bed, on my hands and knees, and I did. Don't ask me what he used on my bum, I didn't look, and I didn't care, I just felt. And what I mainly felt was pain. Next time, we'd better go for a bit of a warm up, I never expected Luke to go at it as he did right from the bat, so I never discussed that with him. As it was, it soon became too painful for me, but I expect that I could take a lot more if we started a bit slower. It was good, but it was too much. What was even nicer was when he would pause occasionally, pull me up against him and hold and stroke me.
Luke: "Do you want to be well used by me?" Me, polite as always (well, most of the time):"Yes, please."
The sound of a wrapper being opened and then the feel of Luke's fingers, checking me out. No worries there, I was already wet. Then his penis entered my vagina and he started moving. It didn't take long for me to get really vocal, letting him know how much I liked this. And let me tell you: the guy has stamina and I loved every moment of it, which I showed by .. crying. I sobbed, the tears were streaming down my face, I moaned and I cried out.
After checking I wanted it as well, Luke lubed a butt plug and inserted it while he kept fucking my cunt, making it even more intense.
Then Luke decided that I needed his penis up my arse. He made sure I was well lubed up before switching holes and he slipped in quite easily passed my sphincter. I cried even harder now, lowering myself on my forearms, pushing my butt back: "You fill me up so good." "I love fucking your arse."
I have no idea how long this went on for, but it felt heavenly. Being held like this, skin on skin contact, having sex again, all the while feeling the pain he inflicted on me earlier. It made me feel cherished, loved, heard, desirable, sexy.
A nice shower afterwards, changing the sheets of the bed together, and we laid down on the bed, side by side, watching silly YouTube video's, caressing, relaxing.
After lunch I was driven home. I came down from my high that night, Luke checked in on me, on-line, the day after. I am still black and blue and loving it.


  1. Hi Julia, wow, that sounds fantastic! I'm happy for you. So glad your first session was so positive. Man, Luke doesn't muck around though does he? LoL.


    1. He's something alright. :) Well, the pain has gone now, but the bruising is still there. Next time I would appreciate a bit of a warm up first, but the session itself was wonderful, and more intense than I expected.

  2. Wow Julia! I am glad you were able to have such a positive time!
    The warm-up does sound like a great idea...!

    1. It certainly was great, and immensely satisfying. And a learning experience: it certainly taught me the value of a warm-up. ;)